


and you make me feel things

by babyweis



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Drinking, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Pining, hyungwon is just bad at feelings someone help him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-07-18 05:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16111349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyweis/pseuds/babyweis
Summary: It's awful, awful, awful, and Hyungwon and his stupid, suddenly overly-attached heart can't take it.Or, in short, summer trips suck, and so do crushes.





	1. Friday (1/2)

**Author's Note:**

> i have like a dozen other things i should be doing instead of this, but i've written this first chapter like ages ago and decided to finally post it. i'll post the next part when i have time agshsjagsjs

"Look!" Minhyuk suddenly exclaims, nearly throwing his body over Hoseok to press his face against the window. The van makes a slight move to the left and Kihyun curses under his breath on the driver's seat.

"I told you guys not to start screaming suddenly when I'm driving," he grumbles.

Minhyuk's face falls and he moves back to his own seat, leaning forwards to tap the other's shoulder. "Sorry."

"What did you even see?" Hyunwoo asks, turning around a little on the front seat, squished in between Kihyun and Jooheon. Minhyuk grins sheepishly.

"A dog."

"Not really surprised," Changkyun comments from the back of the van. Hyungwon is sitting next to him, but doesn't say anything. Instead he watches how Minhyuk links his arm with Hoseok's and leans his head on the latter's shoulder.

Minhyuk catches him staring and flashes a smile. Hyungwon somehow manages to return the smile without looking like an idiot, and mentally pats himself on the back for it.

"Hey, there's going to be a gas station soon. Should we get ice cream?"

Hyungwon is about to mention that they just ate ice cream on the last gas station like two hours ago, but then he sees the thrilled look on Minhyuk's face and shuts up. Kihyun voices his thoughts instead, though.

"Jooheon, you just got ice cream and I don't want you throwing up in my car."

"I'd have to eat at least four actual tubs of ice cream to throw up."

"That's going to happen very soon if you keep that mindset."

Hyunwoo groans and turns around to look at the others. "Who wants to switch seats with me?"

"Definitely not," Changkyun says, and Hyungwon shakes his head.

"No can do, hyung. You're stuck there," Hoseok says, and Hyunwoo sighs in defeat, turning back around to face the road. Minhyuk laughs next to Hoseok, almost choking on the chips he's been munching. Hoseok pats his back, and Hyungwon goes through at least five different emotions because of the brief scene.

If Changkyun notices beside him how his face goes from a fond smile to a frown, he doesn't say anything. He's pretty much caught up on a game on his phone to notice, anyway, but Hyungwon has ages ago learned not to underestimate him.

"Okay, but can we stop by the gas station anyway?"

"For god's sake, Jooheon-"

"I want ice cream too!" Minhyuk exclaims, interrupting Kihyun, and the latter actually turns around on his seat to glare at Minhyuk. The van hits a pothole, and Minhyuk drops his bag of chips onto the floor due to the jump, and Hoseok screeches,

"Eyes on the road!"

"It was just a fucking pothole," Kihyun sneers, but fortunately he's back to facing the road anyway. Hyungwon sighs deeply and rubs the back of his neck, almost shoving Changkyun with his bony elbow in the process. The youngest gives him a look.

"First Kihyun tries to get us into an accident and now you try to elbow me in the face?"

"Stop being overdramatic, I got everything under control," Kihyun huffs from the front, and Hyunwoo glances back at everyone with a face that pleads them all not to argue. Not that any of them would. It's _Kihyun_.

"Yeah, and I wasn't trying to shove you on purpose," Hyungwon says, crossing his arms and leaning back on the seat to get more comfortable.

"Look, I know your arms are long as shit, but at least try to control them," Changkyun tells him, and Hyungwon gives him a dirty look.

"Stop bickering, you two," Minhyuk calls from where he's leaning down, trying the clean the mess that is the potato chips spread all over the van floor, "This trip is supposed to be _fun._ "

And Hyungwon would probably sneer at him and say that he's definitely not going to have fun with all of them breathing down his neck for the entire weekend - he would, if it wasn't for the fact that it was _Minhyuk_ who was speaking, because Minhyuk really always manages to turn him into a whole wordless idiot with just a swirl of his finger.

So he shuts up and turns his head to stare out of the window.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
They end up stopping at the gas station anyway, Kihyun giving up on the third time Jooheon brings it up, muttering something about how he needs to use a restroom anyway.

In the end, it's Kihyun, Hyunwoo and Changkyun lining up to the tiny toilet with Jooheon and Minhyuk gathering snacks and ice cream. And Hyungwon, _of-fucking-course_ , is left sitting alone in the van with Hoseok.

It's not that he entirely hates the guy. They are friends, after all - they've known each other for six years, which is longer than Hyungwon has known any of the others. It's just, despite being friends for so long, they were never those _close_ friends, and Hyungwon spends most of his time with Kihyun or Hyunwoo nowadays, while Hoseok -

Well, Hoseok spends most of his time around Minhyuk.

Hyungwon has never counted himself in as the jealous type. He doesn't get attached to people that easily, and when he finally does, he understands that those people do not belong to him at all and they have life outside him, other friends aside from him. He's not clingy, and he lets his friends - and the few boyfriends he has had before - have their own space and spend time away from him, with other people. That's an obvious concept for him, and he'd just find it petty if someone actually got a problem with their friends or significant other being close with other people - and Hyungwon is _not_ a petty person.

Even when having a crush, even when dating, Hyungwon never has had a problem with the other person hanging out with other people, or being even closer to them than to him (though, when dating, his boyfriends weren't really closer to anyone else) because it's not like he _owns_ them, god. He remembers, a year back, when Kihyun had a crush on a guy outside their friend circle, basically trash-talking the guy's best friend who always seemed to be sticking to him, and Hyungwon had listened to his rants in utter disbelief.

It's stupid, really, because here he is now, gripping his phone in annoyance at the other presence in the car, just because that said presence is around Minhyuk so much. He guesses he's kind of a hypocrite.

He is a hypocrite, but _fine_ , god, he can't stand the fact that when they entered the van, Minhyuk basically ran just to get a seat next to Hoseok even when there was free space next to Hyungwon, too, or the way that the two can't keep their hands off each other, always linking their arms or leaning against each other or playing with the other's hair, or the fact that whenever Hoseok isn't even present, Minhyuk has to talk about him, as if it was necessary to mention Hoseok's name every two seconds.

Hoseok and Minhyuk aren't even dating, but to Hyungwon they as well could be, because it really couldn't get any worse than this.

It's awful, awful, _awful_ , and Hyungwon and his stupid, suddenly overly-attached heart can't take it.

"Well, someone is moody today," Hoseok chuckles, and Hyungwon wants to get up and out of the damn van that exact second, but he doesn't.

"This is my usual face," he says.

"I know," Hoseok says. There's an annoying, amused tone to his voice. "I'm not talking about that. You just haven't really talked today."

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow and lifts his head to finally look at the other. "I _have_ talked. A lot, actually. What are you on?"

"Oh my god, nothing," Hoseok says. Hyungwon watches with a frown how he lifts his hands up in defense. "But see for yourself. You sound like you want to kill me."

"Well maybe I _do_ want to."

"Wow," Hoseok says, raising his eyebrows as he leans forward. "What did I do?"

Hyungwon is just about to give him some snarky reply, but then he hears babbling from the outside, Minhyuk's voice on the top of it all, and he doesn't. The blonde emerges into the van, his eyes twinkling and his smile beating the sun outside as he holds up a cone of ice cream in one hand and a pack of beer in the other.

"What the hell, Min," Hoseok says, and Hyungwon pretends the nickname doesn't make him feel things (like anger, for example. He's not that petty). "We already have enough drinks for like, ten people."

"We are going to be there for the whole weekend," Minhyuk exclaims, ignoring Jooheon telling him that there's a convenience store barely a five-minute-walk away from the cabin. "There will never be too much alcohol, anyway."

"Yeah, don't try to argue with him on this," Kihyun says as he hops back on the driver's seat, glancing back with a face that says, _i've tried._ Hyungwon is highly impressed, because it's not every day that Yoo Kihyun doesn't get to say the last word.

The rest of them get into the car as well, now Jooheon sitting in the middle of Kihyun and Hyunwoo in the front, probably after Hyunwoo telling them that he's definitely not going to sit in between them again, and Changkyun slumps down onto his old seat next to Hyungwon.

Minhyuk sits unnecessarily close to Hoseok, given the fact that there is still plenty of space to his left, only his own bag occupying the seat there. The pack of beer is on his feet, and he's basically devouring the ice cream, smearing it in the corner of his mouth, and Hyungwon is _totally not_ thinking of leaning in and doing that cheesy drama move of kissing it away.

He's not, but then Hoseok tells Minhyuk, "You got some of it on your face," and he thinks, _oh my god, I want to smash my friend's head in._ Minhyuk wipes at his cheek, but of _course_ it's the wrong side, and Hoseok is laughing as he leans in -

And wipes the ice cream off with his hand.

Minhyuk grins and says, "Thanks, hyung," and then goes back to his ice cream, and Changkyun snorts next to Hyungwon.

Kihyun starts the van's engine, and all Hyungwon can think of for the rest of the ride is the fact that Hoseok just almost touched Minhyuk's lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
They stop by at a drive-thru McDonald's after realizing that it will be past nine in the evening when they'll arrive at Jooheon's family cabin, and Kihyun, as the only one who can really cook, is already tired from driving six hours straight. They can eat barbecue tomorrow.

Minhyuk has already drank two bottles of beer when they arrive, and because he's the absolute worst with alcohol, he almost trips while getting out of the car, bursting into a laughing fit as Hoseok grabs him by the waist to keep him from falling.

Hyungwon's heart flutters at the sound of Minhyuk's laughter, but at the same time he's glaring daggers at the back of Hoseok's head. He throws his bag over his shoulder and gets out of the van.

Hoseok still has his arm around Minhyuk's waist, and Hyungwon is suddenly speaking before he can stop himself, "Hyung, you go get the stuff. I'll watch he doesn't fall on his face."

Hoseok looks at him, somehow surprised, but lets go of Minhyuk nonethless. "Sure," he says, and then jokes, "You're just trying to get out of carrying anything that's not yours."

Hyungwon snorts but doesn't say anything in return, mainly because his focus is on Minhyuk now, the blonde watching their exchange with his head tilted, looking an awful lot like a puppy. When Hoseok has appeared back to the van, he seems to snap out of whatever trance he was in and beams at Hyungwon.

Hyungwon's breath hitches and he maskes it into a cough. Minhyuk's smile disappears and his eyes widen as he steps closer to him. "God, Hyungwon! You're coughing. Are you sick? You can't get sick _now_."

(Hyungwon had almost forgotten that if Minhyuk speaks a lot sober, he basically vomits his words out when he's drunk.)

"I'm not sick," Hyungwon reassures, feeling a little warm at the fact that Minhyuk was worrying over him because of _one cough_. "I just, ugh, it's nothing. Let's get inside."

"Oh. Let's!" Minhyuk exclaims, the smile back on his face as he swirls around, almost losing his balance in the process, but holding onto it on the last minute so Hyungwon doesn't have to reach forward and keep him from falling like Hoseok did earlier. "That cabin is a lot bigger than I thought. God, I wish my family was rich. Jooheon has it good. And you, too."

Hyungwon laughs. He knows how Jooheon hates when his family is referred to as _rich people_ , preferring the word wealthy instead - it sounds less ostentatious, he says. However, Hyungwon, as the son of a famous fashion designer, has learned to take the fame that comes with the money and bask in it.

"Maybe I should just marry rich," Minhyuk says dreamingly as they make their way to the cabin's porch, Jooheon already gone ahead and unlocked the door.

Hyungwon looks down at him, and he's not entirely sure just what kind of a cupid's arrow hits him, but he says, "Just marry me, then."

Minhyuk snaps his head to the side to look at him, his mouth gaping, and Hyungwon is blushing, mostly out of embarrassment.

"Chae Hyungwon," Minhyuk states, suddenly seeming a lot more sober than just a few seconds ago, "Are you _flirting with me?_ "

"What," Hyungwon asks, but it sounds more like a statement than a question. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again, "Let's go inside."

"Hyungwon."

" _Inside_ ," Hyungwon hisses, grapping Minhyuk's forearm into a death grip and dragging the shorter man inside through the open doorway. Minhyuk has no other option but to stumble along.

Hyungwon kicks his shoes off by the door, and watches as Minhyuk attempts to do the same - with no avail. He heaves a sigh and crouches down in front of the blonde, starting to untie his shoes.

"I'm not a _child_ , I can do it myself," Minhyuk protests, swatting at Hyungwon's head. Hyungwon glares up at him and forces him to lift his foot so he can slip the shoe off it. It seems like he already forgot about their earlier discussion, and Hyungwon is glad for that. _He better never remember about it again._

"Oh my god, is he really that drunk?" Kihyun comments as he steps inside, delicately holding their food in his arms as if the burgers and french fries were his newborn baby. Hyungwon snorts.

"Yes, he is," he says.

"No, I'm not, oh my god," Minhyuk says. "I think _Hyungwon_ is drunk."

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow as he gets up from the floor and straightens his back, sharing a look with Kihyun. "And why is that?"

Minhyuk huffs. "You _flirted_ with me!"

_Oh, God._

Kihyun makes a choking noise next to Hyungwon. "What?"

"I don't know what he's talking about, he's drunk," Hyungwon says, trying to hide his panic under a pained, tired expression. It seems to work. "Did you guys decide on the rooms yet?"

"No, just leave your bag in the living room or something," Kihyun says, emerging further inside the cabin. "Let's eat first."

"Food!" Minhyuk exclaims, storming past Hyungwon - or attempting to, since he seems to have lost his sense of direction and almost runs straight into a wall. "Oh, yeah, I want to share my room with Hoseok."

Hyungwon wonders why he's even surprised.

"Of _course_ ," he mutters under his breath, but holds onto Minhyuk's arm anyway to keep him from hurting himself as they walk forward, meeting Kihyun and Jooheon in the kitchen.

 

 


	2. Friday (2/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh here's the second chapter because the shoot out teaser had hyunghyuk in it and i cried 
> 
> also just to be clear the (2/2) only means it's the end of friday in this fic, not that the entire fic is finished lmao i'll be doing the same with saturday and sunday as well

Twenty minutes cramped together in the cabin's kitchen, and Hyungwon already regrets his entire existence for agreeing to go on this damned weekend trip.

He shoves two fries in his mouth and wipes his hand at a napkin that has already been used by Changkyun. The younger makes a noise of protest with his mouth full of food, and Hyungwon ignores him, leaning back on his chair and looking to his left.

Minhyuk is sitting next to him, but really, it makes nothing better, because he has dragged his chair right next to Hoseok's, their thighs pressed together and arms linked in a position which, to Hyungwon, looks anything but comfortable as they feast on their fries and burgers.

Hyungwon wonders if Minhyuk ever even notices the way he always gravitates to Hoseok. Does he even do it on purpose? It seems more like a natural instinct than anything.

Hyungwon has never been fond of natural instincts.

"So," Hyunwoo speaks up, wiping his hands on a piece of paper, "where are we sleeping?"

"Right," Jooheon says, "we got three bedrooms, like I said. Someone needs to sleep on a mattress on the floor because there aren't enough beds, though. Unless two people share a single bed or three people share a double bed."

Hyungwon feels like he's the one who's going to sleep on the mattress. Not that he cares, anyway. He could honestly fall asleep on this stupid chair right here if he just was left alone for a few minutes.

"There's a double bed? Like a king-sized one?" Changkyun asks.

"Yeah, two of them, actually," Jooheon says. Hyungwon sees Minhyuk perk up on his seat, and he already knows what's soon to come, but that doesn't mean it gets on his nerves any less.

"Seok and I are sharing one!" Minhyuk exclaims, wrapping his long limbs around Hoseok like a baby koala. Hyungwon needs to turn his gaze away in order to stop himself from stabbing someone.

"We are?" Hoseok asks, a teasing tone to his voice, and Minhyuk whines at him.

" _Stop_ bullying me!"

"I'm not bullying-"

"Alright you two, enough of this," Kihyun interrupts, much like a parent to their children. Changkyun snorts, and maybe Hyungwon would laugh as well, but he's too busy fuming and pitying himself. "I don't know about you, but I'm tired and want to sleep so please let's just pick our beds in peace."

"How do you do anything in peace with these kids?" Hyunwoo asks, and Minhyuk scoffs at him.

"Whatever," Changkyun speaks up, having finished his burger and now stuffing the wrapper into a ball in between his hands, "I'd rather sleep alone in my own bed, thanks."

"You're no fun," Minhyuk says, and Hyungwon watches from the corner of his eye as Changkyun gives him a look.

"Why do _you_ care where _I_ sleep?"

"Stop," Kihyun butts in again. Hyungwon can feel a headache coming his way.

"Anyway," he says with a sigh, "I guess I can have that mattress."

"You're everyone's hero, Hyungwon," Hoseok says, and Hyungwon wants to pull a Changkyun and ask him _why do you care when you're sleeping with Minhyuk in that double bed anyway_ but decides against it. He's too awake and way too sober for that, and so he ends up just rolling his eyes.

"Alright," Kihyun says, looking relieved to see some process happening, "I guess I could have the last-"

" _I'll_ have the last single bed," Hyunwoo interrupts, looking completely unaffected by the glare Kihyun sends his way as he takes a sip of his beer.

"Then where am _I_ sleeping?" Kihyun questions, even though everyone knows that he already knows. Hyungwon glances over at Jooheon who is looking _everywhere_ but at Kihyun, and feels like he's going to explode. Those two are hopeless.

And, of course Hyungwon is hopeless too, but he literally has _no_ chance whatsoever, while those two are pining after _each other_. That makes a huge difference.

"Kihyunnie, you are sleeping with Jooheon," Minhyuk states the obvious, still in his drunken stage. Hoseok laughs next to him.

"Yeah, Kihyunnie, _please_ finally do so," he says.

Kihyun opens his mouth, obviously trying to think of a good comeback, but then he shuts it, his cheeks glowing red. "Can you shut the fuck up," he ends up saying after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, seriously hyung," Jooheon says, but he's, obviously, also flustered. "Keep your fantasies to yourself."

"Isn't it more like you two fantasizing about each other?" Hoseok presses on, and Kihyun actually gets up from his seat, leaning against the table with both his hands while staring at him,

"Lee Hoseok, I fucking swear-"

"Okay, that's enough," Hyunwoo speaks up, grabbing a firm hold of Kihyun's shoulder and forcing him to sit back down. "We are all too tired for this."

"I agree," Hyungwon finally speaks up, popping one last fry into his mouth before turning to Jooheon, "so where do I get that mattress from?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
"Jooheon! We need one more pillow,"

"Oh yeah, I need one too!"

"Guys, seriously, use your fucking legs and get them yourselves."

Hyungwon rolls his eyes at the never-ending bickering and grabs his bag, slumping down onto the mattress that he carelessly spread in the cabin's wide living room. He's now kind of regretting the fact that he just shoved everything inside the bag without any sense of organization because it's a total _mess_ and he'll probably never see his toothbrush and toothpaste ever again.

He does find his toothbrush, though, squeezed in between a pair of socks and a t-shirt in the bottom of the bag, just in time as he's about to give up and go to sleep. The paste is still nowhere to be seen, but he figures _someone else_ must have brought some along. At least Kihyun. One can always trust Kihyun in times like these.

"Hey, Jooheon," he calls out, getting up and skidding over to the stairs in the other side of the room, "is Kihyun up there?"

There's some shuffling and then Jooheon peeks over the railing of the big loft, making lazy wave towards the hall with his hand, "He went outside with his camera."

"Wasn't he just whining about being tired to death?"

"Yeah, but I guess he got inspired. You know how he is."

There's a dumb, fond smile on Jooheon's face, and Hyungwon almost calls him out for it but decides against it. He wouldn't want anyone commenting on his stupid feelings for certain someone either. And besides, the two already got teased enough during dinner.

"Yeah, I know," he says instead. "You got any toothpaste by any chance?"

"I think Kihyun actually brought his into the bathroom earlier."

Hyungwon snorts and mutters a low _of course_ under his breath, paddling out of the living room and towards the bathroom down the hall. Walking there, he kind of understands where Minhyuk was coming from when he said Hyungwon and Jooheon have it good. Jooheon's family cabin is basically the size of an actual house, bigger than the apartments Minhyuk and the others have grown up in. Hyungwon's family doesn't own a cabin, but the size of their home makes up for it, really.

He stops a few feet away from the bathroom's door, but doesn't go to open it, mainly because it is, already, partly opened with lights on in the inside, and he's not exactly sure what he should expect if he goes in. It could be empty, but then again, he wouldn't be surprised if one these crackheads decided to take a piss without properly closing the damn bathroom door. He's friends with such a wonderful bunch of people.

He's about to knock, but then there's a loud clank followed by a loud laughing fit, and Hyungwon recognizes the voices right away. He stands there, alone in the hall with his hand still raised towards the door because _of course_ Minhyuk and Hoseok even go to the fucking bathroom together. What else could he possibly expect?

"Wait, wait," Hoseok splutters in between his laughter, "is it broken? Fuck, is it? Jooheon will kill us-"

"No, I think it's fine," comes Minhyuk's voice, somewhere down near the floor. He sounds a lot more sober than fourty minutes ago when they were still eating. "Look. No cracks."

"Thank fucking _god_."

There's some rustling, and Hyungwon finally draws his hand back, shoving it in his sweatpants' pocket instead. Maybe he should just brush his teeth in the kitchen instead with only water. He's not sure if he wants to know what kind of a family valuable the two almost broke into pieces in the bathroom anyway.

He swirls around, trying his best to keep quiet, but then he hears Minhyuk say, "hey, you know what?" and he's definitely not into eavesdropping other people's conversations or anything but there's just something in Minhyuk's voice that forces him to stay still. The sudden seriousness, maybe.

Or maybe it's just the fact that Hyungwon has turned into an awfully nosy asshole regarding everything that has something to do with Minhyuk ever since he developed feelings for him.

Yeah. That's probably it. But he still doesn't move.

Hoseok hums in acknowledgment. "What is it?"

"Remember when we talked," Minhyuk lowers his voice a little, "about that thing?"

"Yeah," Hoseok says slowly, "I think we've talked about quite a lot of things, Min."

Minhyuk huffs loudly. Hyungwon almost smiles at that. Almost. "You _know_ what I mean."

"Do I?"

"Hoseok!"

A faint thud. Laughter.

" _Fine_ , _sorry_. No need to get violent."

"Yeah, well, no need to be an _ass_."

"Rude. I already apologized. Anyway, what about that thing?"

Hyungwon hesitates a little, but then he shuffles a little closer to the door to make sure he hears everything, even though he's not even sure if he actually _wants_ to hear _anything_ at all and even though he's aware he pretty much looks like an obsessed stalker. How did things turn out like this, anyway?

Just exactly how did he end up being this intrigued by Minhyuk, anyway?

"It's just that..." Minhyuk trails off, and Hyungwon's heart rate is increasing as he tries to hold his breath to stay quiet. "Okay, I know I've had a few drinks, but I _swear_ \- I think I'm sure of it now."

Sure of _what_?

There's a moment of silence, and then Hoseok asks, "Are you sure that... You are sure?"

" _Yes_ ," Minhyuk says pointedly, "I am. I think I need- I'm ready. When we have some time alone, together, I-"

 _Oh. Oh, no_ , Hyungwon definitely doesn't want to hear this. Something snaps in his head, and he emerges forward, pulling the door open before he can really even think what he's doing.

Minhyuk and Hoseok are standing by the sink, both of them swirling around to look at Hyungwon with shock on their faces, Minhyuk shutting his mouth so fast Hyungwon thinks he can hear his teeth clash together. They stare at Hyungwon, and Hyungwon stares back at them - mainly at Minhyuk - until he finally snaps out of whatever state he was in and awkwardly waves his toothbrush at them.

"Did I interrupt something?" he asks.

Minhyuk blinks at him, the tips of his ears pink as he grins and says, "No, you didn't, really. Sorry, we've been hogging the bathroom to ourselves."

"That's...okay?" Hyungwon says carefully, his eyes falling down as Minhyuk grasps at Hoseok's wrist and starts pulling him to the door. He steps to the side to let them pass through the door and only lifts his head again when their footsteps are gone from the hall. He locks the door and slowly walks over to the sink, holding his toothbrush in a death grip as he sighs deeply and leans his forehead against the mirror, closing his eyes.

 _Sex_. They were talking about sex. There's really no other explanation, with Minhyuk saying he's ready and when they have some time alone together.

So they really are dating each other, after all? Hyungwon swallows and brings his hand up to run a hand through his hair. He's thought before that whether or not Minhyuk and Hoseok are dating it doesn't really matter, because it's not going to change anything.

So why is it that he feels so awful right now? _God_ , why does he feel like this?

Their relationship makes _perfect sense_ , the way Minhyuk gravitates to Hoseok and the way Hoseok treats Minhyuk so different from the others. And Hyungwon _really_ had been thinking it was all platonic. He wonders if all the others already know.

He wonders just how long this situation has been evolving right before his eyes. Days? Weeks? _Months_? He feels so goddamn stupid.

And he should be glad. He should be happy because two of his friends are in a relationship that's obviously good for both of them and makes _them_ happy. Oh, he should be glad the man he is in love with is in a happy relationship even if it's not with him.

But he's not.

He straightens his back and puts his toothbrush down onto the counter, leaning onto the edge of the sink with his hand while rolling his head back. He won't _cry_ over _this_. That's going too far. He will allow himself to feel bad for this short moment, but he won't _cry._

 _This isn't changing anything_ , he reminds himself.

It's only destroying the small part inside him that used to play around with the thought of _what if._ And that's _fine_. He's more than fine with that. It was never possible anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Saturday (1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise this fic is back with some good old angst! i actually wrote most of this chapter like a month ago but only got around to finish it today shjsksk i'm sorry for the long wait

"Up, Hyungwon! Rise and shine!"

Hyungwon groans, his face pressed against his pillow. He can feel someone tugging at his covers, and he grasps at them blindly, pulling them back over his head. He can hear someone laughing in the other side of the room - it kind of sounds like Hyunwoo.

"Leave me alone," he grumbles, his voice muffled with the pillow and sleep. There's more laughter, and then he can feel his mattress dipping as someone else climbs on it. The blanket is harshly torn away from his hands again and he lifts his head from his pillow, ready to snap at whoever is disturbing him.

It's Minhyuk. He's sitting there, inches away from Hyungwon, with Hyungwon's blanket in a huge lump on his arms. His hair is a mess and he's grinning, and the sunrays shining at him from the window create a halo around his head.

Hyungwon forgets all about his sleepiness and anger. He stays there in a half-sitting position and stares, until Minhyuk laughs and snaps his fingers in front of his face, "you're really out of it, aren't you? Come on, get up!"

"Whatever," Hyungwon mutters. Minhyuk bounces up from his bed, the blanket still on his arms, and balances on his toes as Hyungwon scrambles around to find his glasses and puts them on his face.

"I really thought for a second that Hyungwon's going to kill him," Hoseok's voice comes from behind them, amused. Hyungwon huffs and gets up from the floor.

"Uh-huh," Changkyun says, "not Minhyuk-hyung."

Had Hyungwon been properly awake, he would have throttled the youngest. However, he settles for shooting him a pointed glare and then stomps out of the living room to use the bathroom.

The bathroom only reminds him of last night, and eventually he has to stay there for longer than necessary to wrestle all the feelings down his throat before he dares to step his foot in the kitchen. _Nothing is different now,_ he reminds himself as he pulls back a chair and slumps down to sit in between Hyunwoo and Kihyun.

Jooheon is sitting across from him, and to Jooheon's left, there is Minhyuk, his hair still disheveled, peeling an orange. To his left, is none other than Hoseok, shirtless like Changkyun is, and Hyungwon holds back the urge to glare.

He doesn't need to be reminded of the fact that Hoseok is also physically better than him, thank you very much.

"So," Kihyun speaks up, "barbecue today?"

"Yes, please," Jooheon and Changkyun answer in unison, causing the rest of them cackle with voices strained from sleep.

"We got everything ready, right? No need to go to the store?" Hyunwoo asks. Jooheon shrugs his shoulders.

"I think we're good."

They fall into an easy, light-hearted discussion. Hyungwon leans over the table and grabs an orange for himself. At the same time, Minhyuk has finished peeling his, leaning back on his seat and drawing one knee to his chest as he pops a slice in his mouth. He looks awfully _cute,_ still a little sleepy with his bed hair and a stain of toothpaste on his shirt, but somehow radiating with energy anyway.

Hyungwon has thought of waking up next to him as he looks like that, so comfy it's almost _raw,_ shuffling close to him on the bed they'd shared. He still does, especially now with Minhyuk waking him up like that. He also thinks of what it would be like to lazily hug Minhyuk from behind and breathe in his scent. He wonders how Minhyuk's scent is like on the mornings, right now, and if his skin would be warm and soft to touch.

But that's all he can do. Think, wonder. He watches as Minhyuk cracks a joke and Hoseok laughs at him, clasps a hand at the back of his neck, gently tugs at strands of soft-looking hair.

_Nothing is different now,_ Hyungwon thinks again. Only that he's now even more hyperaware of every tiny little thing that happens in between Minhyuk and Hoseok. But he'll get used to that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's so cold, fuck!" Hoseok screeches, his voice cutting through Hyungwon's half-asleep state and forcing him to lift his head from the ground to look at his friends. Hoseok, Minhyuk, Hyunwoo and Changkyun are in the water, the latter three splashing some of it aggressively on Hoseok. Kihyun is sitting on the rocks close to the water, laughing with his camera in his hands, and Jooheon is, of course, sitting next to him.

Hyungwon appreciates the fact that they are all having fun, but he still regrets not staying inside. At least it's quiet in there and he'd be able to sleep in peace.

He doesn't really feel like playing in the water and having fun with anyone today.

Sighing, he leans his head on his hands, his cheek squeezed against his arm. He watches as Changkyun climbs on Hyunwoo's shoulders, resulting in Minhyuk getting on Hoseok's shoulders as well, the four of them getting into a competion of which pair manages to push the other down at first. Minhyuk is laughing, even as Changkyun wins by managing to knock him off Hoseok's shoulders.

"Nice, Kyun!" Kihyun yells from his rock, and Changkyun flashes a peace sign as he slides down from Hyunwoo's shoulders, posing for Kihyun's camera. Hyungwon watches the exchange, but eventually, his eyes find Minhyuk again, the latter making his way out of water, and, _oh,_ towards him.

"Wonnie!" Minhyuk calls out, speeding up into a slight jog as soon as he's out of the water. "Toss me a towel."

Hyungwon blinks, and then sits up, grabbing one of the towels from the pile beside him. He's pretty sure it's not even Minhyuk's, but the other doesn't complain as he tosses it to him, only flashing a smile as a thanks and draping the towel around his body.

"The water feels nice," Minhyuk says, slumping down next to him onto the sand. His hair is sticking to his forehead, and there are water drops dripping down his face, one sticking to his eyelashes. Hyungwon stares. "Why aren't you swimming?"

"Jooheon and Kihyun aren't swimming either," Hyungwon points out. Minhyuk purses his lips together.

"Yeah, but they're in the spirit," he says, leaning closer to peek at Hyungwon's face. Hyungwon inches a tad bit further away. "You're all alone in here. Why? Don't you like it here? Are you not feeling well?"

Hyungwon sighs, shrugging his shoulders. Damn Minhyuk and his considerate, thoughtful, loving nature. "I don't know," he says (lies), "I think I might be getting sick."

"Oh." Minhyuk basically _shrinks,_ his face falling, and Hyungwon feels like the most awful person to ever walk the face of Earth.

"I might just be tired, though," he adds quickly, "I didn't really sleep well."

And if it was supposed to make Minhyuk feel better, it definitely doesn't, because the older boy just looks even sadder, his lower lip jutting out into a pout, and _oh no,_ Hyungwon hates himself.

"That's not good," Minhyuk says, wrapping the towel tighter around himself. "Of course you didn't sleep well, we all just made you sleep on that stupid mattress."

Hyungwon inhales deeply. "That's not-"

"Do you want to switch with me? I mean, you probably don't want to sleep next to Hoseok, though, he _snores._ Let's just make Jooheon sleep on that mattress. He's the host, he should offer the best sleeping places to his quests."

Hyungwon snorts, reaching out to tug at Minhyuk's towel to cut off the older boy's rambling. "Hey," he says, "it's not about the mattress. You really don't need to worry."

"Then what is it about?" Minhyuk asks, completely ignoring the last bit of what Hyungwon said, and Hyungwon doesn't even know why he's surprised at this point. He pulls his hand away and clears his throat.

"It's probably just the new place, or something," he tries to reason, "seriously, it's okay."

Minhyuk doesn't look convinced. He frowns, dropping his eyes down at the sand and rubbing his hair with the towel. Hyungwon wonders why he's even so upset, why he has to be so _caring,_ why he can't just leave Hyungwon alone.

Hyungwon should have just been stubborn and stayed home instead of letting the others drag him in here. He would be sleeping in his own bed, not moping around in here and making Minhyuk worry, because he wouldn't even _know_ Minhyuk is dating Hoseok.

What a mess.

Hyungwon probably should just accept that his unrequited crush is going to stay exactly like that and just move on.

He sighs, lifting his hand to his face and rubbing his eyes. Minhyuk looks at him again, still wrapped in the towel and his lips forming a small pout, and Hyungwon wonders how he ever could just move on.

"I'll probably feel better once I eat something," he says reassuringly. Minhyuk's eyes light up at that, and Hyungwon almost sighs again out of pure relief.

"Right," Minhyuk says, scrambling up from the sand, "the barbecue! I'll tell everyone to hurry their asses with that. I'm starving too."

Hyungwon blinks, calling out, " _wait-"_ but Minhyuk is already running, the towel flapping around him like a cape. At one point, he nearly falls, his feet slipping in the sand, and Hyungwon is ready to sprint to him to make sure he didn't get hurt when he catches his balance and continues running again.

And Hyungwon isn't sure how he does it, but he gets everyone out of the water in a matter of seconds, even has Kihyun and Jooheon climbing down from their rock. He has that _power,_ sort of, to make people do what he wants. It definitely has something to do with his puppy eyes.

Hyungwon hands towels to the others once they're out of the water and slowly gets up as well, crossing his arms as he glances at Minhyuk.

The other boy is still wrapped in his towel, and to no one's - especially Hyungwon's - surprise, he has already navigated his way to Hoseok's side. Hyungwon watches as Hoseok leans in and whispers something in Minhyuk's ear, resulting in the latter laughing almost _shyly_ and hitting his chest.

Oh, god, Hyungwon really needs a drink.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, come on," Hyunwoo says, reaching over to snatch the unopened can of beer out of Hyungwon's hand. "How many have you had by now? Five?"

"Probably," Hyungwon says, frowning, "what about it? Give it back."

Hyunwoo shakes his head, opening the can and taking a sip of it himself, much to Hyungwon's dismay. "No. Chill for a minute. You're already drunk."

"I'm not," Hyungwon says.

That's a lie. A serious lie. He's totally wasted.

Hyunwoo knows that - somehow, he knows _everything_ \- and ignores his protest, sighing and grabbing his shoulder to make him sit down onto a chair. Hyungwon tries to fight him, but he really isn't big of match to Hyunwoo even when he's sober, so in the end, his ass is on the chair in a matter of seconds.

Hyunwoo sits down onto the chair next to him. The others have scattered around the wide terrace, Kihyun still bustling about with the grill and the food with Jooheon following him around like a puppy. Changkyun is seated on the chairs near the table, next to Hoseok, whose other side is accompanied by none other than Minhyuk. Hyungwon's expression turns grim as he watches them, and he clenches and unclenches his fist, missing the weight of a drink in his hand.

Next to him, Hyunwoo sighs again. "Hyungwon," he says, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Hyungwon replies. He wiggles around on the uncomfortable chair, trying to find a better position, but gives up quick, slumping against the backrest and closing his eyes.

"Are you sure?" Hyunwoo asks. Hyungwon puffs his cheeks and exhales loudly, tilting his head back and opening his eyes to look at the sky. There's a slight hue of orange to it with the sun beginning to set. It looks nice.

Hyungwon can't remember what Hyunwoo even asked him anymore, so he just shrugs his shoulders, closing his eyes again. "This really sucks," he says.

"The trip?" Hyunwoo asks. Hyungwon cracks one eye open and looks at him.

"No," he says, "not in general. There are just _things_ in it that suck. A lot. A shit ton. You know?"

Hyunwoo raises an eyebrow at him, setting his drink to the side. "I don't think I know," he answers. "What things?"

Hyungwon shrugs his shoulders again, and slowly lets his gaze drift back to Minhyuk. The latter now has a plate of food in his hands, and he's stuffing his face eagerly, some sauce dripping down his skin. Hoseok mentions about it, and Minhyuk lifts his chin, urging him to wipe it away with a napkin. Hyungwon looks away before it actually happens.

He _wants_ to do that. He wants to tell Minhyuk he's a messy eater, laugh once Minhyuk pouts at him, wipe at his chin and cheeks with a napkin. He wants to sit next to Minhyuk, at all times, and he wants be the one who knows Minhyuk the best, who Minhyuk knows the best.

He wants Minhyuk to gravitate to him like he does to Hoseok.

But Minhyuk is taken, is _dating Hoseok,_ and all Hyungwon can do is watch. Just watch. He has no chance to ever hold Minhyuk close and tell him he loves him, not even if his hands are itching to hold Minhyuk's and not even if his heart feels like it's being torn to _shreds_ whenever he looks at Minhyuk.

He's always been aware of the concept of an unrequited crush - _love -_ and known very well that's what describes his situation the best, but it's only now coming crashing down onto him and making him realize how much it actually _hurts._

He feels sick, and he wants to cry, wants to grab another drink, and another and another and another until he passes out, and preferably wakes up hours later with this feeling far gone.

"I'm okay," he tells Hyunwoo. The older man looks at him in concern, but doesn't protest, only leaning forwards to pat his shoulder.

"You can talk to me when you feel like it," he says, and gets up from the chair, grabbing his drink and walking over to the table.

Hyungwon gets up as well, reminds himself that they are all here to have fun with each other, and he's only going to ruin everyone's mood by moping around like this. With that, he pulls a smile on his face and then makes his way to the others, stumbling only slightly in his drunk state, and lets Kihyun fill his plate up with food.

He ends up sitting on the chair in between Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. Minhyuk welcomes him with a beam that makes his heart jump, and he thinks, as long as Minhyuk smiles like that, he's going to be okay.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Saturday (2/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally updated!!! sorry for the long wait again lmao

As it starts nearing ten in the evening, Hyungwon isn't definitely the only one who's had too much to drink. He knows this by the fact that Kihyun and Jooheon are openly sitting there with all of them, pressed to each other's sides with Jooheon's arm around Kihyun's shoulders. They would _never_ do that sober.

In fact, they are all drunk, aside from Hyunwoo, who's currently watching in deep concern how Changkyun tries to do a handstand against the outer wall of the cabin - which he'd had a bet on with Minhyuk. He fails, falls right down, and once he's declared that he's fine despite the fall, Minhyuk jumps up from where he'd been sitting and does a victory dance (which ends up with him stumbling over his own feet and almost falling down too).

Hyungwon laughs along with everyone, worries over Changkyun when he falls and especially over Minhyuk once he nearly trips, takes part in the conversation, and he has fun, every now and then, at least when he forgets about certain _things._

But it's not like he can forget about everything for long.

He watches how Minhyuk sits back down again, next to Hoseok, their thighs pressed together. It's stupid, Hyungwon thinks, so stupid how good they look together, how they both laugh in sync at something Jooheon says. And _god,_ how stupid it is, the fact that Hyungwon can't stop staring at Minhyuk's face, the way his heart clenches inside his chest when he sees Minhyuk's smile.

He has to dig his nails in his hands to stop himself from crawling across the grass and reaching over to Minhyuk, because that's how desperate he is to hold him and to tell him how beautiful he is. He wonders if this is how Hoseok feels too, if Hoseok even loves Minhyuk as much as Hyungwon does - because he should, but surely he _can't,_ can he? Because if Hyungwon was Hoseok, he'd be holding onto Minhyuk even now, would be pressing light kisses to his face, his neck and his fingertips, even with everyone else watching.

Right now, Hoseok isn't even _looking_ at Minhyuk - even though Minhyuk is right there, next to him, cheeks red because of alcohol and smile glowing over all of them. He's so beautiful, and Hyungwon hopes he knows that, hopes that Hoseok tells that to him every day, because he deserves that and even more.

It's so unfair, that Hyungwon isn't able to tell that to him, that Hyungwon isn't able to kiss his cheeks and make him laugh from the bottom of his heart. It's so unfair, because Hyungwon _loves_ Minhyuk so much he feels like his insides are on fire, and he can't see anything, anyone else. Minhyuk is like a bright, gleaming sun, and Hyungwon circulates around him, a sad, plain planet that needs him to live, but would burn to ashes if he were to touch him.

Aren't there old religions where people worship the sun? Maybe Hyungwon is kind of like one of them, but his sun is Minhyuk. Altough, he thinks, everyone should recognize Minhyuk as the sun and bow down to him. He doesn't understand why anyone would feel otherwise - why anyone who meets Minhyuk wouldn't fall in love with him.

Hyungwon sighs, leans his chin into his hand and watches how Minhyuk sips his beer, wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand and laughs at something Kihyun says. His cheeks are red, and his lips are too, glistening as he wets them with his tongue.

Then he looks at Hyungwon, lashes fluttering and mouth forming a confused pout, and Hyungwon _almost_ breaks as he gets up, _almost_ walks right over to him and kisses him on the lips. He draws in a sharp breath and mumbles something about bathroom before stumbling inside the cabin, his heart hammering in his chest.

_Minhyuk,_ he thinks, almost breathes the name out loud as he pulls the door shut after himself, the room spinning around him, _oh god, oh, god._

Suddenly he feels like he's going to cry, and he doesn't even know for what reason. Instead of going to the bathroom, he staggers his way to the kitchen, slumps down onto a chair and buries his face into his hands. Maybe he's had too much to drink - yes, that must be it. He's drunk so his head is a mess. Some people have a habit of crying every time they get drunk, don't they? His aunt always does that.

"Dumb..." he mutters, altough he's not sure who or what he's addressing. Why did he drink so much again?

"Hyungwon?"

Hyungwon jumps, nearly pushing his seat down and going to the floor with it in the process. He grabs the edge of the table to steady himself and looks up at the doorway, where Minhyuk is standing, leaning against the doorframe and giggling.

"Gosh," Minhyuk says in between bursts of laughter, "are you- are you okay?"

Hyungwon's face suddenly feels very hot, and he tears his gaze away, trying to straighten his back as he adjusts his position on the chair. It probably doesn't work, but he's too drunk to be sure.

"Yeah," he croaks out, "I'm fine."

"Good, good," Minhyuk says. Hyungwon watches from the corner of his eye how he makes his way towards the table and casually sits down onto the seat next to him. "Weren't you, um, going to use the bathroom?"

"Yeah," Hyungwon says, blinking as Minhyuk stares at him. He clears his throat and leans against the table with his elbows. "No. I don't know?"

Minhyuk laughs, and it's too loud in the silent cabin, but Hyungwon thinks it's beautiful nonetheless. "You're so drunk."

"A little."

"How much did you drink?"

Hyungwon frowns, tries to remember, but he makes the mistake of looking at Minhyuk's face and starts dozing out, completely forgetting about it. Minhyuk's lips are pouty, and full, and look so, _so_ soft and he doesn't know what to do. What if he kissed Minhyuk right now? It wouldn't be bad, right? Just a little kiss, a peck, a small taste of Minhyuk's lips. Just this once-

"Hyungwon," Minhyuk speaks, eyes twinkling in amusement as Hyungwon wakes from his thoughts, bewildered. "How much did you drink?"

Hyungwon blinks, rubs a hand over his eyes, "I don't know."

"I've never seen you this drunk," Minhyuk says. His voice is just a tad bit slurry, definitely less so than Hyungwon's, and _oh,_ as he leans against the table with one elbow, his shirt's neckline slides to the side to reveal his collarbones. Hyungwon stares, and thinks of how much he wants to kiss them, mouth wet lines downwards, breathe in Minhyuk's own scent.

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon mumbles, and he only realizes he said it out loud when Minhyuk tilts his head, urging him to go on. But he doesn't know how to go on, because there's nothing to say and at the same time there's just _so much_ to say, so much Hyungwon doesn't even know where to start. "You're a treasure," he ends up slurring, because it's what he thinks, and it feels so right to say so, because oh dear, Minhyuk truly _is_ a treasure, the most precious one to exist.

Minhyuk stares at him, opens his mouth and then laughs, but it sounds different than before, maybe a little nervous or embarrassed. His cheeks turn even redder, and Hyungwon wants to reach forward and caress them. "Oh," is all he says in return, and Hyungwon can't hold back his smile, his breathing heavy as he reaches over and grasps Minhyuk's hands in his.

Minhyuk freezes and looks down at their hands, but doesn't pull away. He sits still, and Hyungwon leans closer to him, as close as he possibly can without falling off his chair. Their knees are pressed together, and Minhyuk's face is inches away from his, his collarbones still there, visible for Hyungwon to see.

"Kiss," Hyungwon whispers. Minhyuk's hands ball up into shaking fists in his hold.

"W-what?"

"Hm," Hyungwon hums, dropping his gaze down to their hands. Minhyuk's are bigger than his, his fingers thin and long, and there's a tiny scar on one of his knuckles. He wears a simple silver ring on his left forefinger, and there are two colourful bracelets on his wrist. He fiddles one in between his fingers, and Minhyuk's hands slowly relax.

"Hyungw-"

"You're with Hoseok," Hyungwon says, interrupting Minhyuk. The older boy looks up at him in shock, and he looks back, holds tighter onto the hands that feel so big but so delicate in his hold. "Why'd you never tell me? Us?"

"What?" Minhyuk whispers, and he looks and sounds genuinely confused - looks so pure, so fragile as if he would break from certain words - and Hyungwon doesn't know what to say anymore, doesn't know why he even asked.

They might be friends, but Minhyuk isn't required to tell him anything, not about his relationships or anything else. Minhyuk is dating Hoseok, and it shouldn't be Hyungwon's business at all, shouldn't make him feel the way it does.

"Forget it," Hyungwon breathes out. He lets go of Minhyuk's hands and gets up from his seat, swallows down the horrible feeling in his throat. His eyes feel wet. "Just forget it," he says again.

"Hyungwon," Minhyuk tries speaking up, but Hyungwon is already making his way out of the kitchen, legs unsure underneath him. He doesn't know where he's going - should he go back outside and hope no one would notice anything or just lock himself up in the bathroom for the rest of the night? Maybe he could sleep in the bathtub.

"Wait, _wait,_ Hyungwon!"

Minhyuk grabs him by the wrist, and he tries to pull it free, but that just ends up with Minhyuk stumbling straight into his back and the both of them nearly falling down to the floor. Hyungwon leans at the nearby wall to keep his balance, his legs wobbly as Minhyuk stubbornly clings onto him, thin arms around his waist and shallow breaths hitting the back of his neck.

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon sighs, and it's supposed to be angry, but instead it's just tired and desperate. He should tell Minhyuk to let go, to let him go, but he doesn't _want_ that.

As if Minhyuk could hear his thoughts, he whispers, "I won't let go." His grip around Hyungwon's waist tightens, and Hyungwon feels him drawing in a deep breath. "Don't tell me to let go."

Hyungwon swallows and closes his eyes. They're both drunk, he reasons, drunk people are affectionate and Minhyuk is an affectionate person in general. Minhyuk is an affectionate person who cares for his friends, and that's what Hyungwon is to him, a _friend._

The front door is just a few metres away, and Hyungwon can hear the faint laughter of the others outside. His chest feels tight. He just wants to be carefree, wants to be outside laughing and chatting with the others, wants to be _free_ of these stupid feelings and wants to view Minhyuk as a friend, but no matter how he wants, he's still stuck here.

"What did you mean?" Minhyuk asks, his voice small and muffled with his mouth pressed into Hyungwon's shirt. "When you said that I'm with Hoseok?"

Hyungwon inhales deeply, slowly brings his hands to Minhyuk's own, intertwines their fingers. His intention was to push Minhyuk away, it really was, but he stays like that, gripping onto Minhyuk's hands tighter than Minhyuk is holding onto him.

"We should go," he says.

"Answer me."

"About what?"

"Why'd you say that? What did you mean?"

"Jesus, Minhyuk," Hyungwon breathes out, "you _know_ what I meant. Stop."

"But-"

"Don't!" Hyungwon hisses, finally pulling himself free from Minhyuk's hold and stepping away from him. He turns around and looks at Minhyuk, and Minhyuk looks back at him, mouth pressed into a thin line and hands clutching the front of his own shirt instead.

He looks so small, and so lost, and suddenly Hyungwon feels horrible for snapping at him, for letting go, for raising his voice at him, for _everything._

The front door is opened, and Hyungwon turns his head to see Hoseok, brows wrinkled in worry as he looks at the two of them.

"What's going on?" he asks.

Hyungwon doesn't know what to say. He squeezes his hands into fists and breathes unevenly, eyes jumping from Hoseok to Minhyuk.

Minhyuk avoids looking at the both of them, eyes cast downwards, and then he turns around and makes his way back to the kitchen. Hoseok follows immediately, gives Hyungwon an accusing look as he passes by.

Hyungwon is left standing in the hall, wordlessly staring at where Minhyuk was standing just seconds earlier.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
